The Big Date
by shinigami195
Summary: Heero (sadly) has a forced date with Relena. What can Duo do to help him?


"DUO!" cried an anxious Heero, "You've gotta help me! She'll eat me alive!"  
The radiant and dashing Duo Maxwell and the mysterious and distant Heero Yuy talked over tea at the Winner mansion, owned by a Mr. Quatre Raberba Winner. Heero was in a state of shock, because he had just found out that a girl he hated had bet on him at a bachelor auction for charity, and won at the outrageous price of 57 billion dollars (gundam pilots don't come for cheap ya know.).  
The only reason Heero had agreed to be in the stupid auction is because one of his best friends, Quatre, had convinced him that it would be a help to the colonies..*"Oh, Heero! Do this for the colony citizens! You do care about your home don't you? You don't want the poor to starve do you? Oh, Heero, just this one little favor, and I'll, well I'll, I'll make you a new Gundam!!!" begged Quatre.   
" Quatre... fine, I'll do it. But if I don't get a Gundam, I'm gonna kill you."   
" Yah!!! I knew you'd give in! Errm I mean.."...*  
Now Heero was forced to go out on a date with the one person he despised the most in the entire Universe. The one person he would self destruct himself a billion times to avoid. Relena Peacecraft.  
Relena was a rude and spoiled fifteen year old girl, who wore ugle blue dresses that simply hung on her limp body. Heero hated her for one more reason, she was obsessed with him.  
Ever since they first met, Relena had been following him around, and taking advantage of her power to find, and bug, him. She'd get her loyal man-slave, and limo driver, to search his whereabouts, then she would stalk him.This was becoming very annoying to our man, Heero. She even used to interfear on his battles, and that upset him more than anything.  
Anyways, to come on back to the present, Heero was not a happy camper sipping tea in the library with Duo. "Come on," he begged. " We've got to find a way to get her off my back."  
"Hmmmmm..." thought Duo, straining his face muscles to show that he was thinking hard. " Maybe if you pretend to have amnesia and not remember the night at the auction! She can't force you to go out with her if you can't remember anything happened!" Duo smiled happily, quite pleased with his plan.  
" Ummmm, how about NO! Duo, if I feed her that bull, she'll just take back her 57 bill. and Quatre won't give me my new gundam! I mean, I already have a name picked out for it and everything! It's gonna be Gundam Wing Zero Angel!" Heero whined.  
" Fine, fine. But my idea was not bull! Um, let me see. Well, you could always pretend to be sick. Or tell her you dog ate your spandex and you can't go out with her without any shorts!"  
By the evil stare coming off of Heero's face, Duo knew he did not like those two ideas. The two of them sat and thought in the library thinking for almost an hour before one spoke again. As you would have guessed, it was Duo (he can't sit still!).  
"Hehehehehe.." giggled Duo,  
"What is it? Do you have an idea, one that would actually work?"  
"No, no, forget it. Hehehehehe..."  
"What?!?! Tell me!!!" Heero got up, took out his gun and aimed it at Duo's head." Tell me NOW."  
" OK, OK, you don't have to get all rowdy. Ok, here's my idea. You may not want to do it, but I'm positive it will work if you agree. Ok, here goes.Relena would never go out with a guy who was gay right?"  
"Duo, you're scaring me.."  
"No, no, just hear me out. You don't have to become gay Heero, just pretend you are."  
"What am I supposed to do? Just go up to her and say I'm gay? She'd never beleive that!"  
" Heero, will you just shut up and listen to me? Ok, here's the plan. I know she wouldn't beleive you if you just told her, but what if you showed her? I'm saying, go over to her house with some other guy, and have her walk in on you two kissing! Hehehehe, now can you see why I was laughing?Heero. Heero?"  
Heero was lost in thought.~Maybe Duo's onto something. Well, it never hurt to try. I'll do anything to get her to leave me alone.~  
"Come on, lets get this over with."  
" Wha---? Me? You want ME to do this?"  
"Well, yah! You were the one who suggested it!Come on."  
" Awwww, do I have to??? Why don't you get Quatre to do it?"  
"Because, Duo, what am I supposed to say to him? Wanna come over to Relena's house to have a make out party?!"  
"Hehehe, that would be rather funny.."  
" COME ON!!!" Heero dragged Duo out of the room. Duo's eyes widened ~ I can't beleive he wants me to do this. Oh, man. This canNOT be good.~  
  
"How are we supposed to get there?" asked Duo.  
"We'll take my gundam."  
"What? The two of us won't fit in one cockpit!"  
"Aaaaaah,hmmm, you can sit on my lap."  
Heero and Duo got into the Gundam, and after Duo had made a quick comment on their seating arrangement, ( "Hohoho! And what would you like for Christmas little boy?") they took off. It only took about 6 minutes to get there, and when they pulled into the driveway ( or rather landed) they saw she was already waiting by the front door.  
" How did she know we were coming?" wondered Heero.  
"She was probably watching through her Heero-scope," mumbeled Duo.  
As they walked up the front porch, Relena ran out of the house and gave Heero a huge hug. He stuck his finger in his mouth at Duo in a sign of disgust. Duo laughed, and Relena turned around to stare at him, apparently just suddenly noticing he was there.  
" And what is HE doing here?" she asked menacingly.  
"Hey, take it easy, Heero only brought me here to be his personal bodygu-ooomph!" Heero shut Duo's mouth in mid-sentence. Relena gave a curious look at the both of them, and Duo answered with a wide and cheesy grin.  
" Come on in, boys" she told Heero and Duo. They followed her into a huge hall, decorated with pictures of her and Milliardo as children, and canded pictures she had taken of Heero. Heero was digusted, but followed her never-the-less.  
" I hope you're ready for our big date tomorrow, Heero," she said excitedly. " I've made reservations for the most expensive restaurant in the Sanc Kingdom, and bought an entire theatre for the night, so we'll have it all to ourselves..." she smiled devilishly.  
" Come on Heero, lets do this as quickly as possible, I wouldn't be able stand seeing her smile like that again," whispered Duo to Heero. Heero simply nodded, then asked Relena in a very pleasent tone," May we see your library Relena? I love reading so very much, and would simply ADORE seeing your collection." Heero smiled uncomfortably.  
"Ahhh, sure.." said Relena, uneasily. " This way." She showed them to an over-crowded room piled with books as high as the ceiling. Heero picked one up and read the title, " Stalking for Dummies. Who would have guessed?"  
Relena told them to be seated, then left to go find a servant to make them some tea.  
" Lets get this over with, Duo," Heero said.  
" Ok, but how are we to go about doing this? I mean, should we be sitting, standing..? I don't know! And to tell you the truth, Heero, I'm kinda scared, and grossed out by the whole thing. I mean, what are the guys gonna say when they find out what happened? I mean, I'm sure Relena will have this broadcasted all over the 6 oclock evening news.."  
" Duo, zip it. She would never let out the fact that she used to trail a gay guy. Get a hold of yourself man. Have a little dignity, for Lord's sake."  
"Sorry, Heero, but I'm about to kiss a man. I'm gonna have a little dignity as possible left in me when this is all over."  
" Shhh! She's coming! Duo, over here!" Heero grabbed Duo and shoved him behind a stack of books. "Ok, now here's the plan, you make some noises and I'll shake the books, and when she comes over to see whats going on, I'll just give you a little peck on the cheek. Ok?"  
" Fine, fine! Shhh, she's coming over. Start shaking!"  
Relena, having just found a servant to command her tea, returned to the library to see the Gundam Pilots nowhere in sight. Suddenly, she saw a book fall off one of her high piles, and when over to explore.  
" Oh my gosh!" Relena screamed. Apparently Heero had smacked Duo at just the right time, and as soon as they heard her yell, they both got up, pretending not to have heard her come in, and to have been in the middle of something.  
" What the heck were you just doing? I mean, eww! And HIM! I can't beleive you Heero! I mean, wow, noooo, what the..? No, Heero, this can't be true!" Relena cried. Heero had to put his hand on her mouth to shut her up as to not cause commotion.  
"Shhh! Be quiet will you?! Don't be shouting this all over!" Heero whispered.  
" Wout, wout!" Relena yelled, through Heero's hand causing her voice to muffle. Heero and Duo both got up and ran out of the room, leaving Relena on the floor startled at what she just saw. They ran down the front steps and hopped into Wing Zero.  
" Yah! We did it! I think we scared her for life, how about you Heero?" asked Duo.  
"You've got that right, pal." Heero held up his hand as to give Duo a high five. Duo smiled, and for the first time ever, Heero and Duo gave eachother a high five. Then Duo gave Heero a big noogie as they took off for the Winner residence. " So, Heero, I was just wondering. When are we gonna include the other guys on a bit of this action?" Duo laughed, and Heero rolled his eyes into the back of his head, then laughed along with Duo. Not the kind of cold hearted, distant laugh Duo normally heard from him, but this time it was a friendly, enjoyably laught. One far more beautiful than any Duo had ever heard. Duo leaned in and kissed Heero gently on the cheek. Heero stopped laughing and stared at Duo.Then he leaned in and returned the kiss. ~ Finally~ Heero thought. ~ Duo finally understands why I needed to get rid of Relena , and why it was him that had to help me~.  
THE END  
  
  



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